Rejection
Drew Barrymore called me up again last night. I really do mean last night; it was after 2 in the morning. Same old story; she was asking for a date yet again. I didn’t think that famous women like her would have to ask guys out, and certainly not to ask repeatedly after being turned down. What would happen if the press got hold of this? Wouldn’t be good for the publicity of Charlie’s Angels 12 or whatever the hell she’s in right now. Not good at all.
Anyway, I told her the same thing I always tell her. I would just never go out with Drew Barrymore. It’s not personal as such; I just don’t think I’d handle the reflected limelight too well. I’m a private guy. I like being able to walk down the street without flashbulbs going off; that kind of thing. It just wouldn’t work out. That, and whenever I happened to catch a clip of “ET” whilst channel-surfing, I’d feel really weird.
She always takes it really well. That’s actually even more bizarre. I mean, chicks don’t take rejection well in general, right? They’re rarely in the asking position, so they’re not used to being turned down, and thus take it pretty badly. I can understand that. But not Drew. She just says she understands, and doesn’t even sound sad or hurt. It’s like she’s asking a purely academic question rather than anything which could affect her self-esteem. But then why ask at all? Why ask the first time, much less the seven separate times she’s asked during the past year and a half alone? I just don’t get it.
She said something about not giving up just yet (she’s said that a couple of times before too), said a cheerful “Bye!”, and hung up. I sighed and went back to sleep. This has just got to stop.
Next time she calls I think I might change my wording. Maybe she’s not getting it because I literally say “I would never go out with Drew Barrymore”, like I’m talking about some third party. Maybe if I say “I would never go out with you“, she’ll finally stop calling me in the middle of the night.